But I'm trying to live a life that doesn't include abuse, I'm trying to approach this in black and white. The guilt chewed on me like a rat. This choice feels wrong in my bones, but it is absolutely the right decision in reality. That's what I wish for you, Daughter, and for your father — that you both can find a way, whether it's in relationship with each other or not, to have a sense of peace and harmony and forgiveness about what is past. Cheryl: Motherless by Choice, the first piece of grieving this loss is to forgive yourself. A second writer describes her mother as manipulative and having "narcissistic personality disorder, alcoholism and some undiagnosed bipolar madness. It disgusted me to listen to how, in his letter, my dad acts like he's so perfect and innocent and that he wasn't cheating and that his relationship with my mother was bad.